Insane Ramblings of a TomRiddleaphobe
by Motherlyclucker
Summary: Ginny's Diary filled with hilarious situations involving the Uber Hot BoywhoLived, her Herbology BoyToy, Drakiepoo and the rest fo the gang!NLOC, RWHG, HPGW, DMLL!
1. Chapter 1

Insane Ramblings of a TomRiddle-aphobe

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing 'cept the Plot and Meggy Schmeggy! Don't Sue!

**Clarification: 1. Draco is not evil.**

**2. Cedric didn't die in Harry's fourth year.**

**3. Ginny is very sarcastic and witty.**

**4. Harry is an Ůber Hot Boy-Who-Lived!**

**Thank-you,**

**Motherlyclucker.**

**My bedroom, 12:53**

Hello, My name is Ginevra Molly Weasley and I have an alcohol problem…

JUST KIDDING!

Stop looking at me like that! I know you thought it was funny! I'm sorry, I know we got off on the wrong foot, let's start over.

Hello, My name is Ginevra Molly Weasley. Of course with my history, you'd think I would be deathly afraid of diaries, but no! I have conquered my fears! I'm finally showing my Gryffindor courage! Which is usually absent at the most inconvenient times. I swear, until the Final Battle, I thought that the Sorting Hat just put me in Gryff.out of habit. I thought I would end up in Hufflepuff and then be alienated from the family but the Hat found it amusing to put me with the overprotective prats that I am forced to call my brother. Fat lot of good that did me.

Hermione gave you to me for my fifteenth birthday and I gave her a black eye. I can be quite violent at times. Then, like the paranoid teenage girl I am, I locked you in a drawer and promptly forgot about you. Until now that is. Hermione told me that you had never ending pages, would shrink to any size I wanted without having to use a wand and had a permanently self-inking quill that would always be attached to the diary before I decked her. The same cannot be said for my nose which is always either to big for my face or too small. I think I may be a nose-metamorphogus. I once mentioned this to Lupin since he's married and has two kids with one but he just smiled at me, asked me what I had been smoking and lectured me about the dangers of drug use. Arsehole.

I must warn you that I will be filling your pages with my insane ramblings about:

Harry Potter ( The Ůber Hot Boy-Who-Lived)

Neville Longbottom ( Best Friend and Herbology Boy-Toy)

Draco Malfoy ( Other best friend a.k.a. Drakie-poo)

Luna Lovegood ( Drakie-poo's girlfriend and crazy person-in-training)

Meaghan Morton ( Best friend, muggleborn a.k.a. Meggy Schmeggyy)

Hermione Granger ( Hogwart's resident know-it-all and future sis-in-law)

And last and most certainly least,

Ronald Weasley ( Brother, idiot, overprotective prat and other insulting things)

And you aren't going to say anything about it. Will you? 'Cause if you do I'm burning you! On a lighter note, Harry coming in fifteen minutes to stay with us for the rest of the summer because Sirius has to go on some super top-secret Auror mission. Must go have girly-girl talk with Mione!

Ciao,

G.W.


	2. Pies and Going Psycho

**Chapter 2!**

**Pies and Going Psycho**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing 'cept the plot!**

**Living Room, 1:15,**

Harry supposed to be here now! He is exactly 57 seconds late! What do you think happened! Have death eaters attacked? Have he and Sirius gotten into a car crash? Was he attacked by the killer garden gnomes that roam the countryside? Get a grip girl! I'm sure that the reason that they are now one minute and thirty-two seconds is completely reasonable but that doesn't stop me from hyperventilation! Alright now, breathe in, breathe out… Does anyone know the other innuendoes people could come up with, with that kind of mantra! Seriously!

Aaaaaanywho, if he's not here by 1:20, I'm going to go psycho! With worry of course. Not love. Definitely not love. I DO NOT LOVE HARRY POTTER! Don't look at me like that! Yes, I know you don't have a face but I can feel the waves of disbelief from here! Ha! I'm sticking my tongue out at you. Before I go psycho, I might as well tell you how my girly talk went with Hermione.

Hermione: "So what's up Gin?"

Me: "Oh nothing much, Harry's supposed to be here in like fifteen minutes!"

Hermione: "You're in love with him aren't you?"

Me: "What! When did we go from innocently talking about how he's going to be here in fifteen minutes to you accusing me of loving him!" I pointed my finger at her.

Hermione: "You are _so_ in love with him"

Ginny: "Shut UP! Argh! Why don't you go shag Ron or something?"

Hermione: "Well he is a rather good one."

Ginny: "A good what?"

Hermione: "A good shag."

Ginny: "That's IT! It's bad enough that every time I open a door, you're flapping around like eels but now I have to hear about his sex life! I'm leaving!" And I slammed out the door. Now that I think of it… doing that was slightly out of line… Oh well can't dwell on the past now can we? No. OH MY GOD! ITS 1:20! You know what I'm not going to freak out. I'm going to calmly go to the kitchen and make a pie for when Harry gets here… THE DOORBELL JUST RANG I THINK HE'S HERE OH MY GOD!

**Kitchen, 1:26,**

False alarm kids! It was just Meaghan. She greeted everyone and put her suitcase up in my room. And when she came back down I pulled her into the kitchen and the conversation went something like this.

Meaghan: "Ginny why are we going into the kitchen? I felt like doing something spontaneous. Like making your brothers head explode or bursting into song not coming in the kitchen. Hey did you re-paint in here?"

Me: "Because I want to make a pie for Harry and you're going to help me and no, we didn't re-paint in here."

Meaghan: "Harry Potter right? Like that guy you've been in love with since first year? Why pie? Remember the last time I tried to make pie?"

Me: "I DO NOT LOVE HARRY POTTER! You don't have to touch to pie just sit and watch. I don't want you to make my kitchen explode again."

Meaghan: "Denial is the first stage… Can I eat the pie?"

Me: "No you cannot eat the pie. It's for Harry not you."

Meaghan: "What happens if he doesn't want pie?"

Me: "He'll want pie."

Meaghan: "Ok then, I think you should make apple pie."

Me: "No I'm making cherry."

Meaghan: "Harry would want apple soooo much more then cherry."

Me: "Too bad I'm making cherry."

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Apple."

Me: "Cherry"

Meaghan: "Cherry"

Me: "Apple"

Meaghan: "Cherry"

Me: "Apple"

Meaghan: "Cherry"

Me: "Apple"

Meaghan: "Cherry"

Me! ME! Wonderful ME: "WE'RE MAKING APPLE AND THAT'S FINAL!"

Meaghan: "Ok then."

A/N: Hey, I just needed to tell you that this is a joint partnership fic with with friend Inwe Elensar so its good. Please Review!


	3. I kick where the sun don't shine!

**Chapter 3**

**A kick where the Sun don't shine!**

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling's playground, I just throw tantrums in it!**

**1:05, the Kitchen**

HE'S HERE! I have popped the pie into the oven and it shall be ready soon. Making pies is really easy and great fun! **Except** when you have and annoying best friend asking questions every five minutes like "Where do babies come from?" and "Why do we have noses?" and "Why can't we walk around naked in public?" I swear I have never met anyone as stupid as her! And how could she ask where babies come from when she assisted at her own sister's birth (EW!) aaaaaaaaand she has completed the process of conception quite a few times! I think I'm going to casually walk down the stairs looking as fabulous as I usually do and do something to bend down so Harry can get a good look at my cleavage! Oh god, I just made him seem **so** shallow! My Harry isn't that shallow, is he? Who the hell am I kidding? He's a hormonal teenage boy! Of course he's shallow! But I **won't** do anything to encourage it! Oh dear. I can hear voices down stairs; I think the twins are here, that never means anything good. Did I just hear a giggle? A girl giggle? Where's Meggy!

Ta, ta for now!

G.W.

**1:20, my super-duper cool room!**

Well that couldn't have gone any worse! I think someone up there hates me. Or maybe just the twins. And Charlie. And Ron. And Sirius. Well let's just say anyone who knows me. I won't tell you what happened! Not even if you put me on Veritaserum! Ok, maybe if you put me on Veritaserum, but you're an inanimate object, so you can't! But if you do try, I'm going to burn you! Oh, look at me, I'm threatening a diary with burning at the stake. Maybe they should just make a wing at St. Mungo's just for me. They'll call it the **Girl Who Can't Get Over A Boy Who Will Never Love Her And Is Threatening Her Diary With Fire So That It Doesn't Try To Force Veritaserum On Her, Ward**. Well that took a long time to write. I vow not to write things that are too long so that I might keep this Diary for as long as I can. PSYCHE! I really don't care. I can get a new one. Thpbt! Ha! I just stuck my tongue out at you. Any who, as I was saying, I gave up on trying to make an impression on Harry and I went to my room with Meggy following me like a puppy. Speaking of which, she got two new puppies and they are **so** cute! Like Harry… No! Bad Girl! Stop Thinking about the Uber Hot Boy-Who-Lived! I put the handcuffs on myself. Harry could put handcuffs on me anytime… And now I have kinky thoughts about Harry! I'm going insane! Whatever, I'll tell what happened later.

**1:22, my awesomely awesome room.**

Ok I'll tell you! Stop looking at me like that, GOD! Well this is how it all went down. So I was kind of in the middle of changing when Harry got here… But I was so excited I didn't even notice so I went downstairs like any normal person would to greet their friend. He was sitting on a couch in the living room reading a book while everyone else was talking to each other.

Me: "Hi Harry." I smiled in a flirtatious way that Meggy does when she really wants to snog some one. He then looked up from the book he was reading. His eyes widened and he closed the book got up and walked away eyes wide as if in shock. Everyone was looking my way with eyes wide in shock. Just then Sirius walked in he looked at me and quickly covered his eyes.

Sirius: "AH! GINNY! MY EYES JUST GOT BURNED!" he then ran out of the room.

Ron: "Oh my god Ginny… why aren't you wearing a shirt!" I looked down and there was my overly exposed boobs trying to pop out of my bra. I quickly crossed my arms over my chest.

Fred: "Ginny you look like a whore!"

Charlie: "Well one of the reasons she could be like that is because most boys think it's hot." All of my brothers shot a death glare at Charlie.

Charlie: "Which is very wrong!" I was wondering… Meaghan was down here she would have come up with some brilliant excuse why I was only wearing a bra by now. Also George had been very quiet normally he would have jumped right in the conversation, very, very strange right? So I quickly looked around the room trying to find her so maybe I could get some back up. And there I saw… Meggy and George, MY BROTHER GEORGE AND MY BEST FRIEND MEAGHAN, snogging on the couch, and not normal snogging but hot and heavy snogging! Like as if she was going to shag him right they're on that very couch. Well his hands were up her shirt, WAIT! ACK! EW! WRONG PICTURE IN MY MIND!

Me: "MEAGHAN!" She tried to pull away from George but he kept pulling her back down when she finally got away from him she looked over in my direction. She immediately knew what to do. All of my brothers where lecturing me while I was trying to get her attention. One of the most embarrassing moments in my life and my best friend is busy snogging my brother on the couch! Very nice.

Meaghan: "Oh, Umm… walking around in a bra is very normal now-a-days. It's very high fashion in Italy, France you know all those places where people go to get all the fashion stuff. It's quite couture and mode you know." She looked like she was having trouble breathing or very tried. I then noticed it was from kissing my brother, EW! My brothers all looked at her with raised eyebrows at what she had said and the fact that she was laying on George with her head propped up on her elbow, which was resting on George's chest.

George: "It is?" Meaghan grabbed his balls and pulled upwards. WHICH IS SO GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE EVEN TOUCHED HIM THERE!

George in a very high voice: "Yep it is." Meaghan let go and nodded her head. All my brothers calmed down.

Fred: "Well… I guess if that's the case. But don't go wearing you bra without a shirt on around us."

Ron: "Or in public."

Charlie: "Or around Harry and Sirius."

George: "Or around Mom or Dad."

Meaghan: "Or around me, because to tell you the truth it's kinda gross."

Me: "I'm just going to go upstairs and change now." I quickly ran into my room and slammed the door shut. And here I am now. Stuck in my room because of total embarrassment. I just heard a knock on the door. I guess I should answer that shouldn't I?

**1:35 my uber sweet room**

It was Meggy; she came to see if I was going to recover from being embarrassed anytime soon because she wanted pie. The conversation was kinda like this.

Meaghan: "Done being embarrassed yet?"

Me: "Done snogging George yet?"

Meaghan: "Yes. Now answer my question because I want pie."

Me: "Like I've said before, the pie isn't for you! It's for Harry. And no I am not done being embarrassed yet."

Meaghan: "What ever. Can I come in? I need to fix my hair and make-up before I go back down."

Me: "I guess so…" She walked into my room and grabbed a bag of make-up and a brush out of her bag, which was fricking huge!

Meaghan: "So when are you going to done being embarrassed because if it's not soon I'm afraid the pie might burn." She ran the brush though her black hair, which had hints of violet red in it.

Me: "I don't know it was pretty embarrassing. Considering that all of the guys in this house saw me in my bra." Meaghan shrugged.

Meaghan: "Is that a bad thing?"

Me: "DUH! Well for me it is. You don't even care about that kind of stuff."

Meaghan: "That's why guys like me so much. I'm a very out-going person that is comfortable with my body. And I'm hot, but Ginny you're hot to you just don't realize it. You need to… embrace it and flaunt it, because if you don't your going to be a wall-flower for the rest of your life and Harry will never go out with a wall-flower now will he?" She had switched from brushing her hair to putting eyeliner on.

Me: "I don't like Harry. And besides the reason guys like you is because you're an easy snog."

Meaghan: "Bite your tongue. Besides I only snog guys I like."

Me: "Which is every guy in Hogwarts."

Meaghan: "Your brother isn't in Hogwarts." She pointed out switching to putting lip-gloss on.

Me: "This gets me to my other point. It's kind of illegal for you to be snogging my brother because number one he's nineteen and number two…YOUR SIXTEEN!"

Meaghan: "So? Since when have I listened to rules? Besides you brother is hot, and a very good kisser. Maybe he'll be good at something else too." She had just finished up and put her stuff back in her bag her left the room with a wink. Ew… she has such a dirty mind and doesn't even know it. Well, I guess I go should take that pie out of the oven.

**2:00, have I mentioned that my room is uber sweet?**

I just gave the pie to Harry and Ron, Hermione Harry and I had an interesting conversation with Meggy pooping her slutty head in every five minutes saying completely random things. So I went downstairs, got the pie out of the oven without burning my fingers (Quick! Get the choirs! Prepare them to sing Hallelujah in my honour!) And I managed to levitate four plates, forks, knives, glasses and a jug of milk while holding a hot pie. I brought four because wherever Harry is, Ron and Hermione are too. Except at night when Ron and Hermione shag. EW! Bad mental picture! I've been getting a lot of those these days. It kinda sucks. Anywho, I knocked on the door and walked in with a brilliant/apologetic smile.

Me: "Hey Harry! Sorry for that whole spectacle earlier. I've kinda been distracted."

Ron: (mutters angrily about his sister being a scarlet woman and indecency). Git

Harry: "Oh don't worry about it!"

Me: (stare at him suspiciously) "You're just happy 'cause you got to see my boobs."

Harry: "Yup."

Me: "Horny Git."

Hermione: Harry? Horny? He gets more ass than a toilet seat!

As you can see, in the amount of time that Hermione has been dating my brother, she has gotten more vulgar my the minute.

Me: "HA! I can see it now, Harry, a super high tech toilet that defeats dark lords and gets all the prettiest asses!"

Harry: "Why are you all talking about me as if I wasn't here?"

Me: "Because you're not Harry. You're invisible and you're having a hallucination. Its an Illllllluuuuuuuusion!"

Harry: "What have you been smoking?"

Me: "If my hands weren't full with PIE which I baked ESPECIALLY for YOU, I would give you a swift kick where the sun don't shine!"

Ron: "Why? It was just a question."

Me: "Yes, but I'm tired of people asking me that! Why do people automatically assume that I'm on drugs!

Hermione: " Um, Maybe because you are best friends with Meaghan, Luna, Draco and Neville?"

Me: " Good Point."

Hermione: " See Ron! I'm always right!"

Meggy: "DUCKIES!"

Ron: " Yes dear."

Harry: "( makes imaginary whipping noise)"

Me: "Anyways, I made you some apple pie Harry."

Harry: " Thanks Gin, but I'm not hungry."

Me: " I MADE THIS PIE ESPECIALLY FOR YOU SO YOU ARE GOING TO EAT IT, AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!"

Harry: " Right then, whatever you say Gin."

Me: " Much better"

Meggy: " Oh yeah? YOUR FACE!"

I stared at Meggy for a couple of moment and then cut out the pie which came out perfectly and Hermione tells us this extremely boring fact about how in the middle ages, people used to cook pies for royalty and such and put live birds in it so that when they cut it open, the birds would fly out. I told her to shut up.

Hermione: " Do you know how many times you've told me to shut up in the past few years?"

Me: "Um, No?"

Hermione: " 1457 times."

I turn to Harry.

Me: " The fact that she counted is a testament to the fact that she has no life."

Harry holds out his finger.

Harry: "Pull my finger Gin."

Me: " Shut up and eat your pie."

Harry: " Yes'm"

And that is basically how the entire thing went. With Ron shovelling pie into his mouth in the most disgusting way possible. What an eventful life I lead!

Ciao!

G.W.

A/N: There you go! My bestest best friend Inwe Elensar has co-written this with me! Please R&R and tell me what you think!

_**Kisses!**_

_**Motherlyclucker**_


	4. Happy Birthday to Me!

**Chapter 4**

**Happy Birthday to me!**

**Disclaimer: JK's crap, not mine.**

**10:00 AM,**

Happy birthday to moi! Today I turn 17 years old, I can now drink legally! Yesterday I sent out invites to Luna, Neville and Draco to come to my birthday party tonight! But Meggy, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are coming to but there kinda already at my house so… My party is a sleep over! YAY! I'm so excited because at birthday parties you always have to play truth or dare riiiiiiight? So if I play truth or dare and pick dare the person who's daring me might dare me to kiss Harry! YAY! This is the best day of my life! Okay, enough with the peppiness. It's making me want to puke. We're going to sleep in the den because in the den, there are no rules except, no having sex in the den! So it's pretty good since we may seem different on the outside, but on the inside, we're still just horny teenagers. Well, I have to go cook breakfast for Ron and people. It's cuz in our house, we have 4 HUMONGOUS floors. First floor is living room and other stuff, Second floor is my parents' floor, Third floor in the kids' floor and fourth floor is the guest floor. Each floor has its own kitchen and since my mom is so busy most of the time since she is the Minister of Education, I have to cook for all the kids. Which means my brothers, Harry, Hermione and sometimes I cook for Bill's children or Remus'. It's a drag really, cuz I have to wear an apron, which makes me look dumpy. Did I happen to mention that my dad is the Minister of Magic? So we're really, really rich? Nope? Didn't think so. Maybe you just don't remember cuz you're stupid! Stupido! Stupide! I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. I better go; I think I can hear Ron's stomach growling from here. Ew…

**10:30 AM**

So, I finished making breakfast and am having mine right now. In case you can't see it, my cheeks are **really really **red right now. I would tell you what happened but… oh alright. Here's what went down.

_I am innocently putting on my apron (EW. I then put on the wizarding wireless and my favourite song **Fergalicious** is playing (A/N: I know its from 2006 but I know no songs from '98 cuz I was about 5 at the time so bear with me!) I really like it so I start shaking my booty and dancing to the song in my short shorts that I wear as bottoms for and a really teeny tiny small tank top that I also wear. So, you can imagine that I looked pretty hot. And I'm just singing along:_

_**They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo**_

_**You could see you, you can't squeeze me**_

_**I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy**_

_**I got reasons why I tease 'em **_

_**Boys just come and go like seasons**_

_**Hook**_

_**Fergalicious (Fergalicious)**_

_**But I ain't promiscuous**_

_**And if you was suspicious **_

_**All that shit is fictitious**_

_**I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)**_

_**That puts them boys on rock, rock**_

_**And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)**_

_**Chorus**_

_**So delicious (It's hot, hot)**_

_**So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)**_

_**So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)**_

_**Fergalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)**_

_**Verse 2**_

_**Fergalicious def-, Fergalicious def-, Fergalicious def- def fading echo**_

_**Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy**_

_**They always claim they know me **_

_**Comin' to me call me Stacy (Hey Stacy)**_

_**I'm the F to the E, R, G the I the E**_

_**And can't no other lady put it down like me**_

_**Hook**_

_**I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)**_

_**My body stay vicious**_

_**I be up in the gym just working on my fitness**_

_**He's my witness (oooh wee)**_

_**I put yo' boy on rock rock**_

_**And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)**_

_**Chorus**_

_**So delicious (It's hot, hot)**_

_**So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)**_

_**So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)**_

_**Fergalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)**_

_**Vamp**_

_**Baby, baby, baby**_

_**If you really want me**_

_**Honey get some patience**_

_**Maybe then you'll get a taste**_

_**I'll be tasty, tasty, I'll be laced with lacey**_

_**It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy**_

_**Will I Am**_

_**T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty**_

_**D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fergie**_

_**Fergie**_

_**All the time I turn around always brotha's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my**_

_**(uuhh)**_

_**I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to round up drama little mama I don't wanna take your man**_

_**And I know I'm comin off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it **_

_**But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele **_

_**Cuz' they say she **_

_**Hook**_

_**Delicious (So delicious)**_

_**But I ain't promiscuous**_

_**And if you was suspicious **_

_**All that shit is fictitious**_

_**I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)**_

_**That puts them boys on rock, rock**_

_**And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)**_

_**Four, tres, two, uno**_

_**My body stay vicious**_

_**I be up in the gym just working on my fitness**_

_**He's my witness (oooh wee)**_

_**I put yo' boy on rock rock**_

_**And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)**_

_**Chorus**_

_**So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty**_

_**It's so delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (aye, aye, aye, aye)**_

_**Will I Am**_

_**T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y girl you tasty**_

_**T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno) **_

_**D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the**_

_**D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)**_

_**T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty**_

_**T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno **_

_**D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the**_

_**D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the... **_

_How could somebody not like this song? It's awesome! So any who, the song finishes and then I turn around and see my entire family which means all my brothers, Hermione, Harry, Sirius(When did he get back?), Remus, Tonks, and their two children are staring at me. I then turned very, very, very red, and turned around and started busying myself with breakfast. And then…_

_Hermione (smirking): That's some nice dancing you got there._

_Me: Shuddup._

_Hermione: 1458!_

_Me: what?_

_Hermione: I don't know I just felt like calling out a few numbers._

_Me: I think you going out with my brother has caused some kind of mental damage (Ron looked very offended by this). Now if you don't mind, I would like it if you all went away so that I can cook._

So, everyone being the nice people they are went away to go find some one else to embarrass. I hope its Hermione, or Ron, anyone but me really. Accept Harry! Because he's the oober hott boy who lived, notice how I spelled hot with two T's that means that he's not only hot but he's super oober hot. Yeah that's right you heard me, wait a second… diaries don't have ears! Or maybe they do. Or at least you do because you're a… evil spy trying to ruin my life!!!!!!!! Ohhhh, I'm so burning you now. You know why? Because I just found out your secret! You can't hide things from me of to the fireplace we go! I'll see you in the after-life bucko! Oh wait I won't because you'll be… burning in the fiery pits of hell! And I'll be up in heaven being the perfect angel that I am. Yeah that's right you heard me. NO! You didn't hear me because you don't have ears. HA, HA! It was all just a plot to make me think you had ears! I caught you! You can't fool me you stupid diary. Guess what I'm not going to burn you now! A-HA! You thought I was but I'm not going to now! I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now. OK… everyone's giving me strange looks now because I'm sticking my tongue out at a book… I'm going to slowly put my tongue back in mouth and pretend that it never happened.

**10:55 AM**

Ok I have finished my breakfast and bribed Remus' and Tonks' kids to do the dishes for one sliver sickle each. HA, HA! But with Hermione for supervision because I'm sure that they would probably get into some kind of trouble without any adult supervision. I am such a responsible person. Right now I'm watching Ron and Harry put up decorations for my party (well I'm not really because I'm writing in you and I'm looking at the paper); I hope they'll look alright. Because I let them do it all alone without any of my help. And if they screw up I'll be very pissed and have to send Meaghan in to fix it. And if that doesn't work I'll probably die. Because I have other stuff to do! I need to get the music supply, oh wait… Meggy's doing that. Well… I need to get the cake, never mind Remus and Tonks are doing that… I need to go buy junk food because no party is a party without junk food. Ok scratch that because Fred and George said that they would drop by some stuff. I wonder if they're still here... because I went to bed pretty early last night. Oh well… I guess I don't really have anything to do after all. Hmmm… Meggy didn't come to breakfast this mourning. I wonder where she is. Oh my… have I ever told you Harry has a very nice ass? I was just looking around the room and there it was (in a pair of very nice jeans though)! Oh no! Has my mind become corrupted like Meggy's and Hermione's?!?! AHHHH!!! I'm going to die! The world is coming to an end! I hear some one coming… who might it be? Maybe it's the evil person who has started the destruction of the world and is now coming to take me hostage, rape me, and then **kill me**!!!!!

**11:15**

Guess who it was? The one and only Meaghan Morton finally appearing from out of the… middle of nowhere. The conversation we had went a little something like this…

_Me: Where were you this mourning you missed breakfast._

_Meaghan: Since when do I get up before 10:30?_

_Me: When we're at Hogwarts when we have classes._

_Meaghan: Oh boo. You're just jealous._

_Me: Why would I be jealous of you?_

_Meaghan: Because I got to sleep in and you didn't because you had to make breakfast for everyone._

_Me: It's not like anyone else was going to do it._

_Meaghan: They can fend for themselves you know._

_Me: No they can't, I doubt they could even make a fried egg._

_Meaghan: Go back to bed grumpy._

_Me: No! My party is today remember?_

_Meaghan: It is? Is Neville coming?!?! _She got like super excited right here.

_Me: Yes… Why do you care?_

_Meaghan: No reason…Hey Gin do you think I should go blond?_

Right about her I just looked at her with wide eyes. Let's just say that I could never imagine Meaghan as a blond I mean… She's always had black with different colors in it. But blonde!!!!!!! Oh, no!Tthe evil spirits have corrupted her even more!

_Me: Meggy… Come here (_ok just right here Meaghan walked over to me and I smacked her hard on the side of the head) _GONE WITH THE EVIL SPIRITS!! I could've just sworn that I heard you say you wanted to go blonde._

_Meaghan: Oh but I did! No like super blond, just dirty blond and then I can get it to go into a faux hawk! I saw some chick do it on TV _(OK… Question! What in the world is a TV?!?!) _and it looked really cool and now a this wizarding company has a product out that can make your hair stick up but not get all hard and gross._

_Me: Ok go away and come back when you get some sense and the evil spirits have stopped trying to make you go blonde._

Then she walked away in a huff mumbling something about Neville liking some blonde girl from Hufflepuff and not her… what's her deal? OMG! Does she like Neville? Um, oh my… this is not good. I'll need to talk to Hermione about this or maybe Luna when she gets here because she and Draco have had a pretty good relationship and are madly in love with each other. Oh good! Harry and Ron said they're done the decorations and want me to look! Oh god I hope they don't look bad…

**11:45**

Alright, it's official! Harry Potter is GAY! I mean, how could any guy possibly decorate something so spectacularly and NOT be gay!? I mean, the den looks awesome! But I'm a bit put out that the guys that I'm in love with, is gay. I think I should confront him about it right now. It'll be a little hard to write and accuse at the same time, but I'll make an effort. Think of it as my last favour to you before you burn in the fireplace.

Me: Harry, I really really really need to ask you something.

Harry (he's grinning at me): Sure, what's up Gin?

We are walking away to the very quiet corner of the den.

Me: Harry, are you gay?

Harry: No.

Me: Oh. Ok.

Harry: Why did you ask?

Me: Because the den looks awesome.

Harry: You're stereotyping me.

Me: I'll admit I am.

We're kind of inching towards each other. It's like some sort of magnetic force.

Me ( After an awkward pause): You have a lot of powers don't you Harry?

Harry : Yup.

Me: Do you have the power of flight?

Harry : Other than on a broomstick, no. If you mean levitation.

Me: What about the ability to kill a yak, from twenty feet away, with _mind bullets_!

Harry( weird look): Um, no. Not that I know of.

Me: Good.

Our knees are touching and our faces are leaning together and it's not my fault either. Blame it on my body.

Harry: Are you writing all this down?

Me: Yup, and I just wrote down what I just said and I'm writing down that I just said that I just wrote that down and-

Harry: Shut up Ginny.

I'm blushing right now. He's leaning over… The FREAKIN' GIT JUST GAVE ME A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD!!!!!!!! And it wasn't a sort of brotherly kiss either. I quite sure I felt his tongue dart out and taste my skin. I'm going to go squeal and giggle over this with Meggy.

Ciao Bella!

G.W.

_**HEY HEY! My faithful readers!**_

_**I know, I'm awesome. It was also my birthday on November 23rd! I'm watching the fourth Harry Potter right now and I really think that Daniel Radcliffe gets hotter everytime! And guess what!? This yesterday, I went to my mom's room and asked if I could stay home from school today and she said yes! So I've been lounging around in my pyjamas all day! Haha to you suckers who had to go to school, and that included my faithful co-writer, Inwe Elensar, who wrote most of this chapter while I was loafing and working on an English project! K, the quote about killing the yak form twenty fett away with mind bullets was from Tenacious D's song Wonderboy. And the song was fergaliciouis by fergie.**_

_**I luv you all ( and that's only because you love me!)**_

**_Motherlyclucker_**


	5. Cute French Boys! WOOT!

**Chapter 5**

Once you go French… 

Yo my diary homie!

The guests will be arriving in less than 45 minutes and we are putting the finishing touches on the den. My mum and dad will drop by a bit earlier than when the guests are supposed to arrive and mum will have a crying jag about me becoming a beautiful young lady and dad will simply smile proudly at me while giving sidelong looks at my brothers so that they know that they have to watch me 24/7 lest I do something stupid like say _give a friendly peck on the cheek_! Of course, that will give my brothers the signal to wallop whomever I did give the kiss to. I love my brothers…but they piss me off. I hear the floo…

**12:30 p.m.**

Hey,

I am a psychic! I totally knew what was going to happen! My mum came through the floo and then threw herself at me wailing that 'her baby was growing up'. My dad gave me a hug and presented me with their present. It was a small box so I thought it was a bracelet or a necklace or maybe just a wad of cash but on the inside were…keys? Keys… and they had this little button thingy and I saw the symbol on one of the buttons. THEY BOUGHT ME A CAR! A FRIGGIN' CAR! I whooped and jumped up and down hugging my mum and dad. My brothers and company were confused and they followed me when I ran outside. Waiting for me, with a _huge_ red bow, was a sleek black convertible, with an optional top. I screamed and ran into it, not even bothering to open the door, I just jumped over the door in one leap. Meggy screamed too and ran to the other side. I started the car and drove onto the lawn where I started to do doughnuts. Everybody was watching us, bent over double laughing as Meggy and I went crazy. Charlie actually started rolling around on the floor. I finally calmed down and drove back onto the driveway and with a flick of my wand, the lawn turned spotless once more. I might be a little insane, but who wouldn't be with a sweet car like that! When my relatives stopped _laughing_ at me, we went inside and I could _still_ see them snickering at me whenever they caught my eye. Suddenly, the floo roared to life and an absolutely _gorgeous _boy walked gracefully through. He had dark hair (but not as dark as Harry's) and calm grey eyes (I really prefer green) and a very angular face (much like Harry's). His mouth looked utterly kissable and his nose was a bit crooked, like he had broken it before. Which meant that he wasn't a wuss, and hadn't healed it magically, and let it heal on its own. He calmly shook my parents hand and made hushed small talk. My dad turned to me.

Dad: "Ginny, this is Jean-Pierre. He is the son of the French Minister of Magic. He is to be your escort."

Me: "Escort? Escort for what?"

Dad: "Your mother and I have taken the liberty of booking you and your friends dinner at a new restaurant. I believe it's called _New Age_ or something strange like that…"

Ginny: "You mean NEW WAVE!! The hottest new restaurant this year! You got me reservations _there_! It's so booked the bloody Queen of England wouldn't be able to get a table (figuratively speaking)!

Dad: "Ginny. I'm the Minister of Magic.

Ginny: "Yeah, but on the wireless…"

Dad: "Let's just say that their Head Chef has a rather dubious past that is only known to the special Aurors division, and I threatened to tell his bosses.

Ginny: "You are evil daddy."

Dad: "Maybe a little."

I gave his a big hug and then my attention turned to Jean-Pierre who took my hand and kissed it. He kissed it! Such a gentleman…

JP: "Ginn-eh, I have heard zo much about you from your father. He did not do your beauty justice." I blushed really red and he winked at me.

Ginny: "Umm, thanks Jean-Pierre."

JP: "A lady as pretty as you can call me JP."

And that's pretty much how it went on. He kept flirting with me, I kept getting red, my brothers kept shooting him murderous looks and Hermione kept looking at Harry with a smug face. After what seemed like the twentieth compliment, the doorbell rang and Charlie went to answer it. He looked a little suspicious and I can't blame him. Neville lost all the baby fat he had and got really muscled and well…hot. So he probably thought that he might have been someone who _wanted_ to go out with me, or someone who already had. I had only shows interest in the 'tall, dark and handsome' type so his concerns were valid. JP got this kind of hard look on his face and while Neville was hanging up his coat and putting his present in the den, my parents took their leave. As soon as Neville appeared in the kitchen, I ran to him and gave him a big hug. He caught me easily and hugged me back. Normally the person would be sprawled on the floor because I like to give what Draco calls 'attack-hugs'. They're fun. JP came to my side immediately when Neville let go of me and introduced himself. Meaghan was kind of lurking in between Fred and George and I think she pinched Georges bum because he gave a little squeak. Then, once again the doorbell rang. Draco and Luna were at the door. JP didn't have that hard look on his face when he caught sight of Luna holding Draco's hand. He gallantly introduced himself to Luna and Draco with that 'well-bred' aristocratic thing that my brothers and I lack. Meh, they must have taken a lot of lessons when they were younger when my brothers and I got to play. Suckahs. Our reservation was for 7 and it was only 1 o'clock so we decided to eat some lunch and then watch some movies. I made them sandwiches (my special cold cut, lettuce and mustard sandwiches) and they drank pumpkin juice and butterbeer. JP kept flirting with me, and Luna, Draco and Neville kept telling everyone stupid stories of what I had done when the Trio had been ignoring me (which is right after the chamber, until the Final Battle, which I will tell you about in my only angst diary entry ever).

I caught Meggy eyeing JP, she looked very intrigued. More like the look that she gets when she REALLY wants to shag a certain someone…. WAIT! WHAT? JP is my sexy French boy! Not hers! But I do have to admit, Harry is around five times better, but it is nice to be notice by an extremely hot French guy with a really cute accent. I'm going to deal with this later. Wait! She's walking away from the twins… ACK! She's heading over to JP! Need to get over there! But I feels like my feet are glued to the ground, damn it why aren't I moving? You know what this might be able to be used to my advantage… I'm just going to sit back and observe. JP was still sitting and eating his lunch like the rest of us… Accept Meaghan who I think is on a hunger strike. When I handed her the sandwich I made her she said 'Sorry Gin, I'm on a no carb diet". Brat. She slipped in the chair next to JP which was conveniently empty. DAMN! I can hear bits of their conversation. I'm going to record it for good measure. I mean she might not be flirting…. She could be talking to him… really closely… just being friendly… right?

Meaghan: "Bonjour, (insert slutty smile here) I don't think we've been introduced, I'm Meaghan. Ginny's best friend." She popped a carrot (which was in a bowl on the table because you can't just have sandwiches for lunch) into her mouth very seductively. DAMNNIT MEAGHAN! He was watching her very closely.

JP: "Bonjour to you az well. Ginn-eh's best friend you zaid?" Meggy nodded

Meggy: "Yup. Since first year."

JP: "Oh?" he sounds very interested now. Oh he so digs me, Meaghan has nothing on me! Accept bigger boobs… blue hair… no freckles… long red nails… and well she's just Meggy. There seems to be some kind of strange aura around her that act as a magnetic field that sucks boys in. But then she gets bored and spits them right back out. Fuck, I'm screwed how do I put up a fight with Meggy! I remember some stupid fifth year tried it and got humiliated in front of the whole school when her boyfriend asked Meggy out in front of everyone.

Meggy: "So, whereabouts in France do you come from?"

JP: "Paris."

Meggy: "Ah, la ville de l'amour."

JP: "Do you speak French?"

Meggy: "Oui." DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They started speaking French!!! ARG! Ok I'm going to wait and see if anything happens.

**1:30PM**

Ok I have no idea what happened between JP and Meggy but something pissed Meggy off. Slowly she started get more frustrated as they keep talking. Later on she just got up and left. Not dramatically or anything but she stomped a bit. She was mumbling something about stupid French guys not seeing what's right in front of them. But as she passed me she gave me an evil glare out of the corner of her eye….. AH! So being the wonderful friend that I am walked up to the room we were sharing for the week or however long she stays. I'm opening the door right as we speak.

Meaghan: "Hi Ginny."

Damn she's good! How the hell did she know it was me?

Me: "How did you know it was me?" she looked over and me with a raised brow.

Meaghan: "Everyone else knocks before they come in."

Me: "Oh… So what happened out there? You seem a little pissed off." Meaghan gave me a tight smile that looked forced.

Meaghan: "Oh nothing… Just my French needs a little work. SO I'm thinking of dying my hair."

Me: "Right now?"

Meaghan: "Why not? It'll be fun! Call Luna up she can help." Right now I'm giving her a look that says 'what-the-hell-are-you-thinking?'

Me: "But your hair looks fine."

Meaghan: "I know. But I want to change it."

So I'm sighing as I walk down my staircase to go ask Luna if she wants to help Meggy dye her hair. JP is standing at the base of the stars with a worried look on his face. I should ask him what's wrong…

Me: "What's Up JP?" He looks at me with a dashing smile. I thinking I'm melting.

JP: "Ummm… Iz Meaghan ok?"

Me: "Yeah, she's just going to dye her hair." Jp looks confused, well he doesn't know Meggy, she dyes her hair different colors all the time, I think she carries packs of hair dye around with her. He nodded and walked away to where the rest of everyone is. They are all sitting in the living room and talking about things that teens talk about.

Me: "Meaghan dying her hair upstairs and she wants to know if anyone wants to help her."

Luna jumped up and ran up the stairs, she loves dying Meggy's hair, she said something about her actually realizing that the Hicachucks won't eat all your hair if you dye it often. She also likes the feeling of dye in-between her fingers. Hermione shook her head, Hermione isn't the biggest admirer of Meggy, she thinks that she is proof to men that women are only made for sex. JP looked interested.

JP: "May I 'elp?" I shrugged.

Me: "I don't see why not. Come on."

So off we are to dye Meggy's hair.

**2:47 PM**

Well… That was interesting. Meggy decided to dye her entire head… bright red. And I mean bright. Like it's kind of coppery but it's still super red! She looks like something from a comic book! Like a superhero… ha ha, Meggy a superhero. But anyways she made Luna help her put the dye in her hair and when she saw JP… well if looks could kill he would be dead… a few times over. But she let him help her wash the dye out because he gave her puppy dog eyes. Apparently in France JP did his friend hair all the time for them. Meggy asked him if he was gay. Luna and I where standing outside the bathroom talking for around ten minutes. BIG MISTAKE! So I started getting tried of waiting and yelled at her.

Me: "_**Meaghan Morton what the bloody hell in taking you so long in there?!**_"

So Luna and I walked into the bathroom after getting no response and of course what do we see, Meggy snogging JP. Luna started giggling and I cross my arms and tapped my foot, feeling a lot like my mother. Meggy looked up at me after pulling herself away from JP. She smiled looking very guilty, JP's eyes were wide in shock, or amazement I wasn't sure at the time.

Meggy: "Ummmm….oops?" I tried to contain my anger but it didn't go over so well.

Me: "MEAGHAN YOU ARE SUCH A WHORE! I thought that you were seeing George!!!!"

Meaghan: "Ummmm… I got lonely….?"

I shook my head at her and pointed out the door to her room. She let her head fall which sprayed water everywhere. She walked into the room and shut the door.

JP: "I am zorry Ginn-eh, really. I did not mean to, zhe did thiz thing, and looked at me strangely and just kissed me. I am truly zorry" My anger cooled down, I mean who could stay mad at him when was doing such a cute face.

He has a really cute face.

Really

I just want to eat him- Oops, there's Meggy trying to sneak out of my room. Time to show her some of my Get-brother-to-tell-you-your-birthday-present torture techniques.

Au Revoir!

G.W.


End file.
